i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize