Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
