I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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