Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
His nipple licking is glorious
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