AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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