so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Randomize
