I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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