i wish starbucks made bloody marys
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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