well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
