She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
