fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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