I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
