I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
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