Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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