I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I'm really busy with my period
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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