I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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