made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
It's just like the Real World with babies
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
