My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
