It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
