my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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