1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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