I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
