This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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