This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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