Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
