I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
