Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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