Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Your dad touched me again.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
