I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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