Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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