part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
