I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Boobs speak an international language.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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