do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
