Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
