My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
