Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Randomize
