it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
