He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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