that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
soo... how was my night?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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