Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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