dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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