it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I forgot how hot balto sounded
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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