it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
