I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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