so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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