I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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