remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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