At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
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By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
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Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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