Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
