it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
