we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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