She said her name was "party"
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
