If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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