We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
