how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Randomize
