First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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