he told me I talked like a deaf person
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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