Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i may or may not be watching the land before time
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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