i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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