Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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