so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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